The Power of Mercy and Forgiveness in Marriage

A couple great quotes from Dave Harvey's book, When Sinners Say 'I Do'.

"Mercy sweetens marriage. Where it is absent, two people flog one another over everything from failure to fix the faucet to phone bills. But where it is present, marriage grows sweeter and more delightful, even in the face of challenges, setbacks and persistent effects of our remaining sin." 

"Mercy takes people who are capable of open warfare over toothpaste tubes and toilet seats, and enlarges their vision to include a Savior. Mercy confronts a sinner wrapped in self pity and protected pride and shows him the way out of the darkness into the light. Mercy inspires us to move beyond the power and government of self love back to the nobler and benevolent principles of our new nature" 

"Forgiveness and repentance is the powerful tool that repairs the damage done to sin-torn marriage relationships. And where forgiveness is employed, and repentance is lived out, it transforms. Forgiveness humbly sought, and humbly given, profoundly expresses the glory of God. Why? Because forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel-the true demonstration of God's love for those who deserved his wrath....We have all been forgiven the greatest debt. Let's learn how to forgive the debtor we married." 

Dave Harvey, When Sinners Say 'I Do' (Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press, 2007) 80, 82, 113,  

This Momentary Marriage

A powerful video. Originally posted on Desiring God, a ministry of John Piper.

Sex, Marriage, and Fairytales

Jefferson Bethke with a spoken word on sex, marriage and fairytales.

Husbands: Headship Means Taking the Lead in Reconciliation

Some great thoughts from John Piper on the Husband being the initiator in reconciliation

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ has loved the church and gave himself up for her"

Ephesians 5:25

In the Old Testament, God alludes to Israel as His wife. Here is just one example of God initiating reconciliation with His unfaithful people. In the same way, husbands, as leaders are called to love their wives. I pray God instills this kind of love in my heart.

"For Israel has forgotten his Maker and built palaces, ....for you have played the whore, forsaking your God. You have loved prostitutes wages on all threshing floors"

Hosea 8:14-9:1

"I will heal their apostasy; I will love them freely, for my anger has turned from them. I will be like the dew to Israel; he shall blossom like the lily; he shall take root like the trees of Lebanon. They shall return and dwell beneath my shadow"

Hosea 14: 4-5

Per Justin Taylor's blog on the Gospel Coalition:

John Piper:

Leadership means we must take the lead in reconciliation.

I don’t mean that wives should never say they are sorry.

But in the relation between Christ and his church, who took the initiative to make all things new?

Who left the comfort and security of his throne of justice to put mercy to work at Calvary?

Who came back to Peter first after three denials?

Who has returned to you again and again forgiving you and offering his fellowship afresh?

So husbands, your headship means: Go ahead. Take the lead. It does not matter if it is her fault. That didn’t stop Christ.

Who will break the icy silence first?

Who will choke out the words, “I’m sorry, I want it to be better”?

Or: “Can we talk? I’d like things to be better.”

She might beat you to it. That’s okay. But woe to you if you think that, since it’s her fault, she’s obliged to say the first reconciling word.

Headship is not easy. It is the hardest, most humbling work in the world.

Protect your family. Strive, as much as it lies within you, to make peace before the sun goes down.

Calvin's Romantic Life

I came across this text as I am slowly making my way through Michael Reeves The Unquenchable Flame: Discovering the Heart of the Reformation.

....

"One cannot really speak of Calvin's romantic life. He was no Gallic paramour.

[John Calvin says,]

'As for marriage, I am not one of those infatuated lovers who, captivated by a pretty face, kiss even her vices. The only beauty which interests me is that she should be modest, obliging, not haughty, not extravagant, patient and solicitous for my health.'

Nevertheless, he was keen to express his Protestant approval of marriage, and 1540 in Strasbourg became a whirl of matchmaking as his friends tried to help him find such a girl."

....

Though I realize there is great wisdom to appreciate about his words, I also chuckle at the underlying humor Calvin inadvertently speaks with, because any kind of infiltration of the female kind into his life is probably the farthest thing from his mind...haha. I love it, and wish I was alive to hear it.