Monday, June 6, 2011

The Act of Recollection

From Augustine's Confessions,

"I intend to remind myself of my past foulness and carnal corruptions, not because I love them but so that I may love you, my God. It is from love of your love that I make the act of recollection. The recalling of my wicked ways is bitter in my memory, but I do it so that you may be sweet to me, a sweetness touched by no deception, a sweetness serene and content. You gathered me together from the state of disintegration in which I had been fruitlessly divided....

At one time in adolescence I was burning to find satisfaction in hellish pleasure. I ran wild in the shadowy jungle of erotic adventure. 'My beauty wasted away in your sight I became putrid' (Daniel 10:8), by pleasing myself and by being ambitious to win human approval.

The single desire that dominated my search for delight was simply to love and to be loved....I travelled very far from You, and You did not stop me. I was tossed about and split, scattered and boiled dry in my fornications. And You were silent. How slow was I to find my joy!.......

Your intention was that I should seek delights unspoiled by disgust and that, in my quest where I could achieve this, I should discover it to be in nothing except you Lord, nothing but you."


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